Sharon's Blog

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Out of the Mouths of Babes (and Teenagers)

My 13 year old daughter just announced that she knows how to make millions.  Solar powered motorcycles.  Wind powered cars.  Lawn mowers that run on grass.  And she doesn't want me to post this on the internet in case someone steals her ideas and makes money from it before she gets a chance to.  So this is a formal announcement that the ideas are hers.  She already has a name for "it" (whatever "it" is), but won't tell me because it's stupid.  Personally I think she just doesn't want it posted on the internet, in case someone steals that from her too.

 

Which has drawn the attention of my 8 year old, who truly believes that wind powered cars already exist...  Of course, he also believes that my 16 year old reads.  Books.  Which has drawn the attention of said 16 year old, because he wants to know who we are making fun of (him, of course).

 

I've been declared EVIL, and even my 12 year old is closely watching the monitor as I type.  The 16 year old is bored and wants to know if I have any heroin (his idea of a fun time/joke).  And he's trying to make my 12 year believe that he dreams up ways to kill people.

 

You have to understand, he has a very dry, warped sense of humor.  Last week we needed to go to the social security office to get him a new card.  As we were leaving, the girls were just arriving home.  After telling them that we were going downtown and would be back in a while, 13 year old asks where are we going.  I said, "The Federal Building."  When the 12 year old asked why, the 16 year old's response was, "I have a hearing."  Why???  Because he'd been arrested in school for drugs.  The only problem is that the 12 year believed it!!!!

 

Going to the federal building was an experience in it's own class.  We stopped to go through security, and when the guard asked me if I was carrying any metal objects, my son points out the chains and hooks on his pants...  I set off that stupid metal detector over and over again because of a belt buckle.  16 year old walks through and they just wand him down and let him go!  Hmm... I'm an adult, clean, in a suit, acting respectably and responsibly.  He's in all black, tee-shirt, hoodie (with the hood up), pants with chains that are about 3 sizes too big around - plenty of room for an automatic machine gun or two, and they let him through???  And all he can say is, "I can hardly wait to tell Eric that I set off the alarms in the federal building."

 

We've come a long way from the days when I was so proud to hear them say "mommy" or "daddy".  The first words my 12 year old ever spoke were, "may I have more spaghetti please?"  That should have been a tip off to me that I was going to be in for it.  Now I'm wondering why I taught them to speak at all!

Comment balloon 10 commentsSharon Wager • September 24 2008 03:57PM

Comments

Oh my goodness. That is too funny and horribly wrong all at the same time. HAHAHAHA! It sound like you may have you hands very full with this bunch! Good luck!

Posted by Kim White LeBlanc (Keller Williams Las Vegas Realty) about 9 years ago

A few weeks ago my 13 year old blond daughter N-E-E-D-E-D red streaks in her hair!!  My husband and I work together - and to save gas - we rode in together... he left the office about 30 minutes ago.  I'm still here.  Wonder when he'll notice???

Posted by Eleanor Thorne, Equity Resources 919-649-5058 (Equity Resources) about 9 years ago

Oh this is too funny!!!!! The things kids come up with! I hope your daughter does invent those things!!!!  Sounds like its never a dull moment around your house, and they no doubt they keep you on your toes!

Posted by Horse Farm Partners (Keller Williams Realty) about 9 years ago

Well, I can tell from your photo that you are probably a bit precocious -- am I right?  LOL ~ Evelyn

Posted by Evelyn Panning (Property Connections Realty Inc.) about 9 years ago

Kim, I seriously have a warped bunch of kids.  Gotta love 'em!

Eleanor, we're going through the NEEDING streaks thing too!  That is way too funny that you're husband forgot you.  He should take you out to dinner to pay you back ;-)

HFP - If she does invent those things, I wonder if I'm entitled to any of the royalties.... LOL

Evelyn, I am a seriously high energy parent.  I suppose there is a small chance the kids may have perhaps inherited a slightly off target sense of humor from me, but I'm pretty sure it's very slight (just like I'm sure they never hear me being sarcastic either!)

 

Posted by Sharon Wager, "Your Blue Jean Agent" (Hunt Real Estate) about 9 years ago

Hey Sharon,

At least life is not dull!!!  (sometimes I wish for 'dull')

Take care,  Laurie

Posted by Laurie Logan, South Central WI Real Estate (Keller Williams Realty, Inc., Broker Associate) about 9 years ago

Sharon, I laughed out out loud with this one and even shared with my husband. Thank you for sharing... I needed some comic relief!

Posted by Stephanie Kresl (Global Assist ~ Orlando Sales Division) about 9 years ago

I think I am headed for these types of interactions with my own kids.  They are 9, 7, and 2 (and we are expecting a baby in April).  Good stuff!  I am going to include your post in the Family Ties recap today.

Posted by Jason Crouch, Broker - Austin Texas Real Estate (512-796-7653) (Austin Texas Homes, LLC) almost 9 years ago

Our journey is just beginning.  By the time I start writing sagas like this, you'll be able to laugh about it and then enjoy the fact that yours have moved out!

Posted by Jim & Maria Hart, Charleston, SC Real Estate (Brand Name Real Estate) almost 9 years ago

Stephanie, you're very welcome!  I have to laugh my way through the days or I'd never make it past breakfast :-)

 

Jason - Beware of 4th Child Syndrome!!!!  And if it's a boy, DON'T name him Nicholas.  It's a deadly combination!

 

Jim & Maria - any chance you want to start early and borrow one or three of mine for a while?

Posted by Sharon Wager, "Your Blue Jean Agent" (Hunt Real Estate) almost 9 years ago

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